Well, this time was a little different from previous times. Although I had some of the same thoughts about morality as I did last time, I had a few new ones.
I thought about how the universe is full of self-arranging systems. We have something called writing, which consists of symbols with no apparent intrinsic meaning but end up with meaningful sentences and how writing can be self-referential, such as “This statement is false.” Our brains are also self-referential because we’re self-aware. I’m sure I thought about this because I’m reading Gödel, Escher, Bach.
I thought about the nature of memory. What we remember says a lot about us even though it’s supposed to be a record of something empirical. We choose what to focus on. Our biases can even warp our recollection of something. Even when we retrieve memory, that seems to affect the memory itself. It often alters it rather than preventing it from fading.
That even seems to apply to overthinking. Overthinking has often gummed up the works of my brain, and I think ketamine used to help a lot with that. Unfortunately, I don’t believe I’ll ever achieve the tranquility to do anything to stop that problem. I simply can’t meditate.
Unfortunately, I have been getting worse, mood-wise, since the treatment yesterday.