On Thursday, I had a ketamine session that I’ll write about in a post in the near future, but, for now, I’d like to write about my therapist Kerry De Lima. I saw her for the last time on Wednesday because she’s going into private practice.
I met her through a wonderful program called EvoLibri, a program created by Jan Johnston-Tyler, whose son is autistic. One Kerry’s focuses is autism, and I’m sure that’s one reason we clicked so well. She and another therapist, Alan Fridlund, are my two favorite therapists ever.
After she got to know me to a certain extent, she encouraged me to start writing, first about what lessons I’d learned in life and then about my life story. She enjoyed reading my 24-page autobiography so much she encouraged me to write more as a way for me to do something I enjoy and give some meaning to my life. As a result, I’ve started writing a short story titled The Effigy and a political-philosophy book. In fact, I’m sure it was due to my life lessons and political philosophy that she said how I wasn’t some cookie-cutter patient and said I challenged her to expand her own thinking and perspectives.
We had some “debates” where she tried to offer a different perspective on my life, but I’d be quick with a counter-point, but, regardless of whether we made a major breakthrough or hardly any progress, seeing her was always my favorite time of the week.
Below are some of the emails she sent to me
Regarding the Ketamine, I noticed that you had more seemingly positive energy and expressing yourself seemed more fluid. It also seemed that the effects were not as visible to you and did not occur immediately as you have experienced in the past. You were in a very low place and following the Ketamine (the time before last) you seemed to engage in your life more. Overall there still seems to be evidence that Ketamine is helpful to you.
In terms of all that you have to offer, despite or regardless of your earlier challenges in life and disappointments, it’s my hope that you are able to recognize these things as well. It is supportive that people around you can easily identify and share them with you. However, your embracing them is what matters most and will be the most impacting on how you move forward in life. In support, here are just a few of the positive qualities and strengths that you have to offer in my experience of you….
These types of things continue to reveal themselves as I get to know you more. It is my hope that one day, in the not so distant future, you are able to define your life by the whole of it and the potential that is in your hands.
I was telling you that it has been such a pleasure to work with you and that you have been a unique client. I appreciate the way you think and the words you use to express yourself. You are open to discussing things and wrestling with meaning. You challenge me to expand my own thinking and perspectives. I look forward to our sessions. I had hoped to continue our work and to support your writing and the things that do bring you some enjoyment and meaning in your life.
While we have had some rich discussions and you have worked hard to grow and consider things that might help your emotional experience in life, I do also worry about your level of depression and suicidal thinking. I see you as a successful person who has beat many odds and I don’t want you to give up. Maybe the world is in bad shape in some ways but it is a better place with you in it.
I’m wishing you the best and that you keep trying to add meaning to your life. I hope you enjoy your time back home and may 2020 surprise you in some great ways!