During my ketamine infusion today, I felt a sensation like floating at first. Again, I felt myself able to think more clearly. I realized that what ultimately seems to contributes to my brain getting clogged is fear. Fear of not doing well. Fear of being wrong. Going through certain thought patterns over and over again because that's my brain has become wired over the years. It's why I may always need ketamine.
That said, the session still felt underwhelming. Even right after the session was over, I found myself wanting more. It's also why my mood is almost as bad right now as it was yesterday.